Did you know that today is Self-Love Day?? I thought that the whole Galentine's Day thing was a fun marketing spin on Valentine's Day to grab the attention of the single ladies to sell more stuff. I mean, it is a great idea minus the whole overly commercial thing.
I LOVE love. Therefore, I LOVE Valentine's Day. It's one of my favorite holidays. There's never too much time spent on love, right?
So, naturally, now that I know about Self-Love Day… well, I'm just not sure what to do with myself.
I do know this- I need to scatter all sorts of encouragement for every single one of you to celebrate the love you have for yourself in some way today.
It starts with a quick story of the first time I was really exposed to the idea of self-love.
I was probably 15 when I caught a few minutes of RuPaul's original talk show on VH1 back in the day, and it was one of those moments in my life that seemed so inconsequential. Yet, here I am over 20 years later still talking about it.
Good ole Ru said something along these lines (remember this was a hella long time ago, so paraphrasing is my friend here).
No one will ever treat you better than you treat yourself. AND, if you don't believe you deserve to treat yourself well, why would anyone else? So, if you want a man, you have to start by treating yourself the way that man would treat you.
Seriously, this was mind-blowing at the time- and it's obviously been mind-blowing to other folks, as he's been quoted saying various versions of this sentiment all over the internet in the years since.
And yes, this was relationship advice given to a guest or caller, so the last sentence isn't a direct application to other things we'd like in our lives, but kinda. How would you treat yourself if you were already at the weight you think you need to be? If you were a calmer, more peaceful parent? Less anxious? You'd probably be a lot kinder to yourself and make generally healthier choices for yourself.
Every time I think of Ru's advice, I find that it ALWAYS applies and ALWAYS lights a fire in me to not only treat myself better, but also to generally BE a better person.
When I think about it that way, it seems so fitting that Self-Love Day is right before the day we spew our love over all of our favorites. We have to fill our own cups in order to pour from them, right?
Here's a few ways I like to take care of myself:
I read and journal often. Even if it's only for a mere 2 minutes before we turn out the light at night.
I keep a daily gratitude list in my planner. Jotting down a quick note of what I'm thankful for keeps me grounded.
Sometimes it's about escape- a juicy historical romance goes a long way!
Often I choose books about personal development or spirituality. I always want to be moving forward, learning all of the time.
I do things that make my body feel good.
I go to the gym or take a yoga class.
I use my foam roller and other tools for self-massage.
Every doorway in my house has become a place to stretch out my chest and shoulders which helps me stand taller.
I indulge in oil blends that are suited to me.
I spend a few minutes a day focused on my mantra for the year- Be Bold. Be Brave.
I've started paying attention to how I accept compliments, trading my "This old thing" attitude for a simple, "Thank you."
I continue to work through beliefs and negative self-talk that have followed me from my youth.
I am letting go of guilt, and choosing the thing I really want versus settling for the easier or cheaper option, knowing I'm also choosing to reprioritize certain things to make that happen.
I'm asking questions and engaging with people around me instead of smiling, nodding and moving on.
I intentionally leave my phone in a different room in the evenings when I want to focus on my family.
I take the time to make myself warm tea at night, both because I like it and because I know it also helps improve my sleep quality.
I make sure to wash my face every night and use quality, non-toxic skincare morning and night. Even when I just want to fall into bed with my shoes still on (which I'd never do either ;) )
When I don't do these things, I'm more irritable, less patient, and waaaaaay more negative. I become overly critical of myself which bleeds out into my relationships with my husband and daughters. My anxiety comes back with a vengeance, bringing panic attacks with it.
Ugh. Why would I ever choose this misery instead of the all the nice stuff in that list above??
What are your favorite ways to give yourself some love? What makes it easier to find the time to do it?
What happens when you DON'T show self-care?